Some Days are Just Off
Some days just feel off. Today was one of those days.
It was not even a Monday, but today was just all wrong. I know complaining is not going to fix the problem, but sometimes you just need to share, and the go to bed and pray tomorrow will be a better day.
I actually slept pretty well, I only woke up a few times and was going to check my fitbit to see my sleep score. Yes, I love numbers and improving always makes me happy. And, according to my Fitbit, my sleep is subpar at best, I usually score below 70. But, it would not sync with my phone. Welll that is irritating.
Okay, is that really a big deal? No, but it was an indecator of how the rest of my day was going to go. Malfunctioning for sure.
At work, we have something called Training Tuesdays. Everyone comes in an hour early and we get to do manditory trainings. When we are done with those, we can choose to learn anything we want. It sounds awful coming in a little early, but it is one of my favorite things about my job. They want their employees to continue to grow.
I drop my daughter off at school at 7:20, and I am usually ready to go to work at 7:30. Sometimes I will stop and grab a quick bite before work but today I turned the wrong way and decided to just go to work and wait for someone to come.
Failure on so many levels
Since I was early to work, I decided to replace my blood sugar monitor. This is the 6th one that I have used, and for whatever reason it would not deploy. I tried everything, the button was broken. Maybe it was just me being off- nope. The third time I tried it, it did not work but then for no reason shot off into my shirt. This was not good. It was my last one. And when I tried to put it back in the container I poked my finger with a hidden needle and blood got all over everything.
Where is everyone
After I got cleaned up, I looked up to see that it was 8:00. I should have been in my office starting my trainings. But, for the second time this year, no one was here.
Last time, I just kept thinking someone would show up that maybe they were running a little late. Nope. I sat in my car and waited for over an hour like a moron. So this time, I texted the branch manager. And y’all, no one was coming in because they “didn’t have anything”. So I went home, frustrated.
I did make myself some yummy breakfast so it was not all bad. I don’t know about you, but time and I are still fighting. I hate wasting time and I have to push to get my hours in, so sitting around- not getting paid or not being able to work is super frustrating.
Quit Whining, it is not that bad.
My whole day went like this. Finishing off with me working late to make up the hour. Then coming home to a messy house. Even though my spouse asked what the plan was for dinner, he did not even lift a finger to clean up his mess from the night before, or use the recipe I sent him for a simple dinner. I know, I expect too much.
And, I left my phone at work. I would say it was the cherry on top of an already off day. So, After I did the dishes and told the kids to have a PB & J, I stomped to my room to escape and sit in my anger.
I know, these all seem like small things. No one was hurt, no one got sick, everyone was safe, we did not have a true tragedy. And I am grateful.
But, the universe it trying to teach me something. I need to figure out why I am triggered and face my shadow. It is time for me to do some work to face my truth. And, do a meditation to help me let go of whatever is subconsiously blocking me. Maybe I can learn something and share it tomorrow.
Days like today make me want to escape and not deal with anyone and just crawl back in bed. And pretend like I do not have any feelings at all. Do you ever feel that way? Let’s both face our truth and not run away! Tomorrow will be a better day.
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